Bad Apple

When I left you last time, dear reader, I had decided to target my glue gun towards Apple; the company specifically, not the necessarily the user.  They are the king of taking an existing product, modifying it slightly, marketing it as a world changer and then charging a fortune for it.  The thing is, they say they are making things more simple, easier to use, thinner, but they just take away functionality.  There may be less material used in the new Macbook as it’s 0.000000000001mm thinner than the last, but then Apple make and sell endless amounts of dongles to convert their new connection to the universal connection that we all use.  A lot more material used.  Pillaging the planet.  This is not great.

 

Where to start?  

Where Apple would start: with the existing product.  This is my muse:

Glue Guns Pile.png

As you can see, almost all existing glue guns are identical.  Save for a few that are more like a pen than a gun, the principle is the same.  So Apple would seek to make this shape more sleek, one piece, desirable to look at.  Next, ‘update’ the existing interaction points with revolutionary thinking.  Trigger?  Who uses a trigger anymore?  Bin.  Replace with a touch pad like the surface of a Magic Mouse.  Round hole for a glue stick?  Stupid.  Change that to glue tablets.  Easier to store, quicker to load.  Pop in a pill and get gluing.  Sure, they will run out almost instantly, but that’s a small price to pay for the cleaner line made by removing the glue stick from the rear.  Round nozzle with an adequate amount of glue squeezing out?  Dumb.  No, we need a triangular shape so people know it was an Apple glue gun that was at the genesis of this creation.  It needs to be super small to allow for detail crafting.  Sure, the nozzle will no doubt clog up or the motor will wear out from having to force the glue out of a tiny hole, but on the plus side, the glue tablets will last longer and people would have an excuse to buy the new version, (which we will be released in 8 months).  Plastic exterior?  Are you mad!  No, aluminium.  Much more expensive.  Sure, it will scratch easily so will need a protective case, but we can sell those.  Just to appease the people who can’t see the vision of the future we are laying down for them, we can make adapters to convert old to Apple.  A glue stick to glue tablet converter, a bigger nozzle, a mechanical trigger, and the case.  Oh, maybe we should make a dongle to convert our lightning connection lead to a boring AC lead?  Sure, the glue gun will be lower power using the lighting connector, but that’s why we made the glue hole smaller so it doesn’t need as much heat to melt it!  Come on people, we think of everything.

 

As you can tell, I have gone quite critical on this.  The whole idea of refreshing a product by putting a new skin on it, just to sell more products is like putting a hat on Donald Trump.  Sure he would look different, but he’s still a kn*b.  

 

These are my notes from the briefing and my initial responses (note, the penis glue gun; this may pop again and again, be warned):

Next are some key notes on the Apple Way, and then a load of shape exploration.  Apple always make smooth lined, single piece constructions, so this was my starting point:

mb112_av2

With a few shapes amalgamated, here is the current iteration, rendered in CAD:

The iGlue

just-gun-rearsplit-and-bosses

Keeping to the brief, I have kept all existing components, just not necessarily in the original place.  I have put them in the various adapters – iTrigger – which Apple will sell as an add-on.  Brief met.  

Introducing the iTrigger, the iFeed, the iDapt, the iSkin and the iForeskin

all-out
Don’t forget, in a few months, you’’’ be able to buy the iGlue in black.  More easily scratched, buy boy, doesn’t it look good.

black

So where from here?  I need to make sure this marketed perfectly.  It needs to ape the styings of previous Apple advertsing campaings.  I need to make sure that I capture the way Apple sell their products as world killers.  A catchy slogan, a minimalist palette.

 

How about…

iglue

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